Transition period

I just re quote from what i wrote in instagram before.

For my memory. For your memory. For us to remember..

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To be able to watch my son sleeps on his own bed has become something i truly appreciate since the past four months.  Personally, it was hard for me in the first month he was not at home, everything was suddenly changed, i closed his room's door most of the time because sometimes i couldn't bear the lonely feeling i had inside looking at all his stuff in that small cube of his. I looked away everytime i passed the room, denying the feeling i had inside.

I took it slowly, day by day and strive myself best to adapt to the new routine without him. I remember the first month was the hardest. I tried my best not to cry missing him badly but to force a smile on my face eventhough i was crying a bucket inside. I have this strong believe about mom's prayers and i prayed and prayed alot for him, for me. Du'a has now becomes part of me, my best friend and i recite it not only after my solat five times a day, but i recite it anytime, wherever i go. Because i wonderfully has witnessed and experienced myself the miracle of a mom's prayers for so many times and how it has soothed me to went through the days that have been written for us. I submitted to Allah everytime i need to relieve. And nothing is more helpful than that. Only with HIS help, alhamdulillah i become stronger than ever.

Now i can put a sincere smile looking at his empty room, remembering all the beautiful memories we had created  there. No more sadness in my heart but to always be grateful for all the blessings HE has showered upon us. After all, setiap anak adalah pinjaman.

I also learned that we as a mom faced the hardship differently from one another, eventhough we think we are in sort of same situation. We all are struggling and we struggle in our own battle. By any means, please don't say we are doing better than anyone else. Just be kind and be good to yourself and to others.

My son will be at home now insyaAllah for three weeks. The longest holiday he had since he entered the boarding school life. Now i know how much i must embrace this moment with him and i realized i don't want to miss a thing. Not a single thing. Appreciate now. Because little things matter. ❤❤❤